October

There is a big difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough.

Giving up means selling yourself short. It means allowing fear and struggle to limit your opportunities and keep you stuck. Knowing when you’ve had enough means freeing yourself from something that is no longer serving you. Giving up reduces your life. Knowing when you’ve had enough expands it. Giving up is imprisoning. Knowing when you’ve had enough is liberation. Giving up is self-defeat. Knowing when you’ve had enough is self-care.

Joanne Reed

What is it like to be so engrossed in a project that one cannot really function in life? Well, imagine waking up and going to bed with only one thought in mind.  Whether I am talking to an advisee or my supervisor at work, walking my boys in the wee hours of the morning, watching Netflix to relax, hiking in the mountains on the weekend, or swimming/kayaking/paddle boarding at the Aurora reservoir, I am thinking about leadership.  This tunnel vision can be quite exasperating but it has been my life for over a year as I develop Embodied Presence. If all goes well, it will become a book, workbook, and programs for youth (Activism@Work) and women.  Hopefully, in a year, I would be finished with everything.  Ah, that word, hope.  I should say plan but I had planned to finish months ago.  And well, it isn’t, not even close.

I have been so engaged with the topic that I had to cancel all the programs for Fall this year.  I did not have the energy to market any of the events which required that I reach out and personally talk to individuals about the effectiveness of the programs in developing leadership people for social activism.  And I did not have the energy to supervise everyone and everything.  I usually don’t mind supervising but when my mind is so focused, I just don’t have the patience for anything.  But I have not completely removed myself from Platform.  I am still meeting and discussing the workbook with the facilitators for the women’s program, Lauren Johnson and Murph Murphy.  That has been about all I can handle for Platform.

I have to be honest, while it has been exhausting, I kind of enjoyed cutting myself off from people altogether unless of course, it has been for work or for family, with whom I have also limited my time.  But I know this will have to come to an end next week.  People are knocking softly to get my attention … Yes, I have a million things on my to-do list for Platform, new board members, new volunteers, grant proposals, meetings with YouthPlatform, people who are needing and wanting my attention.  And ideally, I will get to them all by June before we slow down for summer.  However, I need to feel grounded, to know that the project is mostly finished.  

Once in a while, I do think about closing down Platform.  I certainly don’t need more headache.  I have enough responsibilities without having to worry about an organization that has been quite a handful.  But it is this question which has been plaguing me.  Am I giving up too soon in realizing the potential of mentoring youth and women for transforming our communities? This vision that I have for Platform will not stop haunting me.  I think I have given my all but have I really?!  I also have a vision of traveling cross the country with a non-existent loving partner in a non-existent RV.  Yet that doesn’t annoy me as much as the vision I have for Platform.  Do I believe RV-vision is more likely?  But seriously, which vision is more real?  I have no clue.  They both sound fantastic right now.  

I will persist but not for long.  I think I may be nearing “I have had enough.”

Sam Joo

CEO and Founder

September 30, 2021