MARCH
“There's always gonna be setbacks; there's always gonna be knockdowns. “
Post Malone
Hiccups. I think most of us have had hiccups, those annoying, involuntary spasms that break the rhythm of our breathing, speech, and if persistent enough, our routines like eating, drinking, brushing our teeth, etc. None of us really like it and none of us, even doctors, really know the reason why humans get hiccups. This is the reason why the word, ‘hiccup,’ refers to “temporary or minor difficulty or setback” in the colloquial use of the word. So in the development of a project, if we face a setback or difficulty, we call it a hiccup. Given my ‘get the job done at all cost” mentality, I absolutely hate hiccups. It breaks my rhythm to achieve my goals without thought for others’ rhythms and goals. In other words, I can be very demanding, not in words but in expectations, silent but very present expectations. You could ask any of my nieces and volunteers that I rarely repeat a request/command but they surely feel my silence.
Yet it is impossible not to experience hiccups because well, we have to deal with reality which does not follow any rhythm, definitely not mine as much as I would like to control the world around me. Therefore, the question is not whether we can control the hiccups (I’ve tried and failed miserably) but how do we respond to hiccups since it is inevitable. For me, I usually get angry, curse a LOT, quickly react with back-up plans (if I have any), go find a physical activity to burn my energy (nowadays racketball where I beat the %^&$ out of the ball), and then pause. It would actually serve me better to pause and then react but I am not wise that way. I have to have an action in play or otherwise, I get anxious. And it is difficult to pause when your mind is racing.
I don’t know why we have hiccups but I know what it does. No, not medically but in life. If I was a medical doctor, I would not be writing this, let alone running a nonprofit that is sincerely not profitable. So in my personal experience, hiccups come up when something is not aligned which then forces us to realign. Let me give a recent example. One of our facilitators had life changes that prevented her from continuing her work with us. It didn’t matter that I wanted her to facilitate because she is awesome; it didn’t matter that she wanted to work with us. It just did not align at that moment. I know, it sounds like a tragic star-crossed love story. And in some ways it is. I might want a relationship; they might want a relationship but for some reason it just doesn’t work. As painful as the realization might be, we have to realign for the natural rhythm to kick in again. It is learning and willing to let go of the misalignment. And I have to let go because forcing a misalignment is like having a persistent hiccup. It’s too taxing on the body.
And we go forward as she goes forward in her life. Thankfully, I have matured to a point where I understand that hiccups happen and learn to adjust. It does not mean that I do not have a fit of anger and a bout with the racketball ball ‘cause that would not be me. But that anger is not directed at any one individual; it is directed at the hiccup that we all face in our lives. Hiccups just are and we have to accept that reality. We just have to learn to adjust, and quickly.
Sam
Founder and Executive Director
March 1, 2020