May

Life has got to be lived - that’s all there is to it. At seventy, I would say the advantage is that you take life more calmly. You know that ‘this, too, shall pass!’

Eleanor Roosevelt

For over a month, most of us have been in physical and social isolation.  It has been a very difficult and challenging period, albeit much more so for extroverts than for introverts.  And the worse part, there seems to be no end in sight, especially with the lack of agreement about the treatment and the vaccines off in a distant future. I must admit many women in the Platform circle are privileged; we still have shelter and food. But I know many who have been affected financially, emotionally, and/or physically by the pandemic and I have been impacted by their stories, their hardships, their pain.  

Given my personality in which I like to tackle a problem, I find myself limited or constrained in what I am able to provide for my community at Platform during this period. We started the Virtual Skill Share Workshop Series for the adults and game-based activities for teens at Empower Community High School. Few people have participated and I would hope benefited from the virtual space. Nevertheless, I am slowly developing a feeling of sadness, helplessness, and defeat with the constant bombardment of bad news. Usually such feelings are accompanied by a sense of hopelessness but I am not there yet because I guess I cannot afford the luxury of giving up. I have to think about my family and community; I have responsibilities; I have people who rely upon me to be strong, calm, and rational. But also, I have a lingering hope that balances out the negative energy.

I find that one can respond to a crisis, be in the fight or flight mode for a few hours, weeks, maybe even months but what the pandemic is demanding that we need to do is extend our energy for a year or maybe two or more. This can test the most levelheaded leader who if s/he/they are not careful can burn out into oblivion like the ER doctor who committed suicide.  So how does one sustain oneself in a prolonged state of panic? Well first, it is definitely not to panic and second, it is to understand that everything good or bad comes to an end. Whether we want it to or not, it will pass. Granted, passing does not mean that there is a pot of gold on the other hand. There will be carnage and we will have to start all over again which again requires that we have reserved energy to build up from the destruction. This is where perspective grown out from experience with difficulty and hardships is key to confronting such vicissitudes in life.

I come from a family of survivors, from economic hardships, from physical, emotional, verbal, sexual abuse, from extreme hunger, from war torn country, from extreme drought. Their history of battles won and lost is engrained in my consciousness. It’s true that not everyone survives such ordeals and I definitely have become soft living in the USA with all the conveniences and comfort but what their narratives have taught is that it will all pass. My job is to do my utmost in my very present self - whether it be making coffee for my mom, feeding my dogs, assuring a friend, encouraging a colleague, or just listening. I cannot stop or control the pandemic but in my embodied present self, I need to focus on what is in front of me in the very capacity of my skills/potential and hope that it will be enough to sustain my immediate community. And when the pandemic ends and it will, if I am alive, I need again to be ready to pick up the pieces and continue the daily grind of fighting oppression as best as I can. This is the hope that allows us, empowers us, and encourages us to keep moving forward.

We cannot predict the outcome, of what will be at the other end, but all I need to know is that I have and am working my ass off to sustain the community as best as I can in the very present. If I try to control the outcome and assuredly we cannot, which is something we absolutely need to accept, we will burn out or worse, kill ourselves figuratively or literally. We need to accept our finitude and while we may not be able to save the world, we would have made an impact in the lives of people around us. This is what staves off the onset of defeatism and helplessness that may come in waves at our weakest moments. And of course, a sense of humor, a quart of ice-cream, and a box of dark chocolate with caramel inside do not hurt either.

Sam

Founder and Executive Director

April 30, 2020